Moving forward with joy and overcoming discouragement

As I start another year, I find myself resistant to making resolutions, gun shy of goal-setting and discouraged by my lack of discipline.

Here’s what I’m seeking this year: more joy. I’m not talking fleeting happiness. I want that deep, abiding peaceful sense of well being. How do we get that?

Taking a moment to look back

I looked at my goals from last year, and maybe hit 1.75 of the six I wrote down. No one goal was completely achieved, but I had two that were partially achieved. Which ones did I kinda do? I did a slightly better job of cleaning my kitchen and exercised a little more often than the previous year.

Those were some of the “microresolutions” I made a year ago. And here’s a funny coincidence, in that post I talked about writing ten goals and “maybe reaching 1.25 of them.” I wrote down that 1.75 figure in the above paragraph before I looked back at my post from a year ago. Is that progress?

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I also recorded some intentions of what I wanted to do more of and less of and something I would choose over something else.

The one that stands out is this:

“I will choose to help others over numbing out or backing off from those in need.”

While I didn’t suddenly become Mother Teresa, I did put myself out there more often in 2019. Sometimes I reached out to people in pain instead of avoiding them. I picked up the phone, delivered the meal or offered to staff the sign-up table.

While I know I missed many opportunities, I embraced others. I got messy and lived through the awkwardness. In a few instances, I felt like my efforts didn’t really matter. But I don’t get to see the whole picture.

My resolutions and intentions mostly focused on myself and what I should do, but the one that stands out is the one that focused on the needs of other people.

In the fall, the Ladies Bible Study at church looked at Philippians and a study guide by Melissa B. Kruger called “In All Things.”

We looked at how to find “unshakeable joy.”

What feeds contentment?

Here’s what doesn’t work. One of Melissa’s observations that I highlighted was “Self-focus feeds our discontentment.”

In this age of obsession over self-care, I’m not advocating totally ignoring your own needs. It’s smart to take care of your health, and treating yourself on occasion can lift your mood.

But life should be about more than my  own comfort. To achieve anything significant, I will have to make myself uncomfortable.

If I seek to live and love like Jesus, I will find myself decidedly uncomfortable at times.

But that doesn’t mean I’m uncomfortable all the time because God is our comforter.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When I feel that discomfort, I can go to the “God of all comfort.” He not only comforts me but gives me the grace to help others.

Contentment grows when I seek comfort in God’s grace and I reach out to others with His love. Grace and love feed contentment.

I think it’s a give and take. Times to step out in faith and times to rest. There’s a profound rhythm to life when we’re following Christ.

That brings me back to my recent discontent. I looked back at all the goals I didn’t achieve and felt discouraged.

How do we deal with discouragement?

One practice that is scientifically proven to boost your mood is gratitude. I’ve written about cultivating gratitude as part of “getting unstuck,” making gratitude part of changing your mindset and choosing helpful thoughts to fight depression.

Back to the study guide on Philippians, Melissa Kruger writes, “One way to experience God’s goodness is by being thankful. Rejoicing in the Lord is a safeguard for the soul.”

Rejoice in the Lord always! Again I say rejoice! – Philippians 4:4

I can allow discouragement or worry to take hold of my heart and mind, or I can choose to focus on gratitude. When I practice thankfulness, I make more room for joy in my heart and hope in my mind.

Taking my eyes off myself and looking at the blessings of God can transform my whole demeanor. As Melissa wrote, “Rejoicing in the Lord is a safeguard for the soul.”

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. – Habakkuk 3:18

What discontent is telling me

If you’re worried about something that is happening or might happen, you can do something about it. Pray.

Do not worry about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard you hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

Maybe it’s not so much worry that’s dogging your heels. It could be one of those “disses.” Disappointment, discouragement, discontentment, dissatisfaction.

Discontentment and those other feelings tell me that something is “off” in my life, and that can actually be a good thing.

Amazing vacations, beautiful homes, meaningful jobs and great relationships can satisfy us for a little while. But nothing on this earth will forever fill the empty places in our hearts. No amount of money or beauty or power.

Lasting fulfillment comes from one source. In Christ alone do we find that deep, abiding, peaceful joy that lasts.

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27

What will you do today to bring more joy into your life?

Related links:

Growing your dreams and making real progress

Three books to help you live with purpose and make progress on your goals

How to make resolutions you will keep

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