Instead of setting a goal, think about the person you want to be. Then take a small step toward that identity. Each small step builds a habit, and habits build your identity.
Well, that was weird.
I’m talking about 2020. It was also stressful, challenging, lonely at times, and disappointing. The beginning of a new year is a good time to reflect back and look forward. How did we handle the first worldwide pandemic in our lifetime? And since it is still going on, how can we persevere?
As we take stock of the last year, I think we need to start with the elephant in the room. COVID-19 impacts so many facets of life and just makes almost everything harder. We can’t freely meet with friends and extended family. Social events are canceled or scaled down with an underlying current of worry. Will doing this endanger someone I love? Work is definitely weird. Having to shush the dog while meeting with the boss or, for those who must work in person, wearing a mask and attempting to stay six feet apart all day (often impossible, given the work and space). Most everyone suffered the disappointment of lost opportunities. Some of us lost jobs. Others lost loved ones or struggled with the virus itself.
For those and many other reasons, I think we need to start by giving ourselves (and others) some grace. We all carry an extra burden in this season. I’m reminded that even before the pandemic and after it is long over, many people carry with them invisible burdens. A prodigal child, a financial crisis, an ill parent, a life-changing diagnosis, any ongoing crisis, really, casts a shadow we can’t escape. And it impacts us everywhere we go.
I think the stress of COVID-19 made life in society harder as people often had different reactions. Our collective nerves became more raw and ragged. We sometimes forgot to give grace to those whose views differ from our own.
But grace and the accompanying joy shine all the brighter in dark times. Let’s choose in advance today to pray for someone whose words or actions offend us. Find a way to share an encouraging message amid all the negativity. Do an intentional act of kindness, and remember tiny ones count.
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Taking stock of a disappointing year
Okay, that’s enough of the soapbox for now. I hope you’re still hanging with me.
Can we take a few minutes to look back at how we did in 2020? A year ago I wrote about moving forward with joy and overcoming discouragement. Little did I know what was coming.
As the world shut down in March, my life showed definite signs of pandemic malaise. One of the definitions of malaise on dictionary.com is “a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy or discomfort.”
And that feeling continues into 2021. I blame it for a lot. Like the difficulties I had writing posts for the blog and social media. The rising tide of clutter in my closets, countertops, and corners (does anyone else have a box with extra pantry goods sitting in their dining room?). The snail’s pace progress on our massive master bath remodel.
But there were other areas where I didn’t do too badly. I kept pretty consistent in my daily time of Bible Study and prayer. Sometimes it was a quick ten minutes, but it usually happened. I knew I desperately needed to connect with God.
Despite an increased battle with clutter, I did okay keeping up with the dishes. When life is out of control, “just do the dishes.” That’s the mantra of my favorite podcaster and decluttering expert Dana K. White, aka A Slob Comes Clean. If you struggle with clutter, do yourself a favor and get her book, Decluttering at the Speed of Life.
A winter day dawning at Plum Prairie Ranch has me thinking about new beginnings and fresh starts.
Looking for the good stuff
Were there areas where things got better?
I can think of two. I was better about jogging or walking with my dog. She soon came to expect getting either a jog or walk every morning. We didn’t hit every single day, but we hit most days. The frequency definitely increased, and I’m better off for it. I didn’t train hard or focused. I just showed up most days. Exercise helps combat depression, and because my dad had severe bipolar disorder, I want to do whatever I can to protect my mental health.
The other one was I talked to my mom way more than in previous years. She’s in her late 70s and lives alone, so I wanted to check in on her often. Usually that was a phone call, but sometimes it was meeting on a sunny patio for coffee or grabbing a takeout dinner to share at her house.
Can you look back over the last year and see the good things? One of my friends who has many siblings living far away met weekly on Zoom with her brothers and sisters during the pandemic. They lost their dad in late 2020. I’m guessing that frequent connecting helped them as they grieved. Another friend from my church started a ministry to senior citizens who live in a mobile home park. They deliver food and other needed items on a monthly basis. Wow!
Look around you for the good in the last year. I’ll bet you find some positives.
Making the most of what comes next
When we look at a big goal, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. During an ongoing crisis, it’s easy to give up on our dreams while we hunker down in survival mode. But what if we could change our mindset and get better results?
Let’s think about ways we can improve our lives by small actions. I’m reminded of the book “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. He says to focus less on the big goal and urges us to develop better habits by focusing on our identity. He writes, “Your identity emerges out of your habits. Every action is a vote for the person you wish to become.” I wrote about this idea in a post on Growing Your Dreams.
What kind of person do you want to be in 2021? Take a little step in that direction today. Then take another one tomorrow and the next day. You get the idea.
I’m starting the year by focusing on three areas.
Spiritual life: The identity piece is that I’m a mature Christian who loves God’s Word. How do I take actions that vote for that identity? I’m participating in the Bible Recap Project, which has you read through the Bible chronologically in a year. It’s something our church pastor and his wife encouraged us to do. Each day has you read several chapters and listen to or read a commentary on the passage. The whole thing takes less than 15 minutes.
Home life: I want to have a lovely home that isn’t hard to maintain. To that end, I’m working on my clutter issues. I signed up for a program called “Take Your House Back,” with Dana from A Slob Comes Clean, Cas from Clutterbug and Dawn from Minimal Mom. My goal is to spend time each day getting rid of stuff, organizing, and/or cleaning. Next month, I plan to write a post about the program and my progress.
Professional life: Because I want to be a successful blogger, I need to spend more time working on the blog: writing posts, taking and editing photos, connecting with others on social media, etc. Spending time most days on blog-related tasks is the key.
How about you? What kind of person do you want to be in 2021? What is one small step you can take today that is a vote for the person you want to become?
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10
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Blessings to you and yours,
Sandra