How do you handle disappointment? What do you do when your carefully crafted plans end up in ruins? What’s your response when you blow it big time or a loved one smashes holes in your heart?
What if the most difficult moments in your life are really gateways to lasting joy and peace? What if those trials are necessary to fulfilling your God-given purpose?
Let that marinate for just a moment.
A wise friend of mine mentioned in passing that too many Christians are more preoccupied with finding their purpose than they are in following God.
Why pursue our purpose?
Discovering our God-given purpose isn’t to boost our happiness and personal fulfillment. Our purpose is to magnify God and fulfill His design.
Get ready for this, y’all. Finding your purpose can be downright painful.
Sometimes you find your purpose in those places you wouldn’t wish on anyone. It may not be a popular notion, but I think that God allows us to get into some dark places so we can shine His light for others.
This post contains affiliate links. You can visit Amazon through these links and purchase ANY product and support this blog. The item doesn’t cost you more, but I receive a small commission. Here’s more on my disclosures page.
In several areas of my life, I’ve been wrestling with disappointment. Losing my job several months ago stretched an already tight budget. It was like going from trying to squeeze into size 2 jeans to 2T jeans (if you don’t understand this, you’ve never shopped for a toddler).
My blog is bogged down, languishing with few page views. I have more time to dedicate to it, but funds for DIY projects are scarce. Inspiration decided to take a hiatus. “It’s summer, dude. Maybe I’ll see you later.”
I’m juggling challenges on the family front that I won’t go into here. I’d guess most of you have trials with your kids and/or spouse and/or parents… Fill in the blank with your own issues. Often I’m most irritated at that person in the mirror. Why won’t she get her act together?
The battle with disappointment starts in our minds.
How we think
How we think impacts how we speak and how we act. We need to “take every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Kay Arthur encourages us to adopt an attitude of meekness, which she defines as total submission to the will of God. She says “meekness is born in situations that humble you.” As our dreams are dashed on the rocks of disappointment, we find new dreams by focusing on God.
When disappointments occur and discouragement nips at our heels, we get to choose how we respond. We can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose our attitude. We can rejoice in God, pray for His help and thank Him for all He has given us and will give us.
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Contrary to the idea that meekness equals weakness, Arthur gives a biblical definition. “Meekness means you’re in control – in the Spirit’s control. You don’t let the situation alter who you are or determine how you respond.”
We respond to pain and tragedy by clinging tightly to the Lord whose love never fails. Arthur writes, “God is in control, and therefore in everything I can give thanks – not because of the situation but because of the One who directs and rules over it.”
You don’t rejoice in the pain or tragedy. When bad stuff happens, you rejoice that God is with you in it. You know this tragedy has a purpose in God’s plan.
“We know that for those that love God All things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28
Did you catch that? His purpose, not ours.
How we react to failure
Failure means that either I did something wrong or God determined a different outcome is best for my life to reflect Jesus. Faith is a choice to believe God in the middle of hard circumstances.
I know the Lord gave me emotions, and He is not surprised when I am sad or angry. He wants me to come to Him with my feelings and choose to trust Him with my future.
Let me just say something here before I go on. Sometimes a person is drowning in depression and prayer and Bible study become impossible. If that’s you, my friend, please seek help from a mental health professional. Counselors, therapists and psychiatrists save lives. It will get better.
For those of us wondering how to shore up our faith, we’ve got to keep immersing ourselves in God’s Word and focusing on His promises. Guess what? God says a LOT about suffering and failure. Trust that God will come through for our benefit and His glory.
In my weakness, God is strong.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. – 2 Cor. 12:9
It’s not my awesomeness that reflects Christ, but God using my broken places for His glory. Less of me and more of Him.
I believe that my passion for helping families dealing with serious mental illness issues was born out of my painful experience of growing up with a bipolar father.
When heartache comes our way, we tend to question God. “If you love me, why did you allow this to happen?” Maybe instead we should ask, “How do you want to use me in the middle of this brokenness?”
Our way out of discouragement is to keep walking with God and trust that He’s got this situation and all the others that threaten to steal our joy.
In Joshua 1:5, God says to Joshua, “I will be with you; I will never fail you or forsake you.”
How we mature
We never mature in our faith if we don’t submit to God in trials.
“Dear brothers and sisters, when trouble of any kind comes your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that the testing of your faith gives endurance a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” – James 1:2-4
I realized recently that in this life, we’ll never have perfect maturity. We can expect suffering as long as we draw breath.
What is our purpose? To shine the light of Christ. And where is light most noticeable? In dark places. When we see others enduring trials, we find courage to persevere in our own struggles. We in turn can help those weighed down by disappointment.
When we turn our eyes to Jesus and choose to rejoice in Him, we find new strength from the Holy Spirit.
“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.” – Habakkuk 3:17-19
Without brokenness there’s no need for redemption. Give your broken dreams to the Lord, and He will redeem them for your good and His glory. He will strengthen you and empower you to scale new heights.
What about you? Are you struggling to find purpose in the midst of disappointment? I’d love to hear from you and pray for you.
If you found this reflection helpful, please share it!