Why do some people become stronger after experiencing a crisis while others crumble under the losses? And is there anything we can do to build resilience in the middle of a struggle over which we have little control? How can we support mental health in ourselves and encourage others during a crisis?
That’s what I’m asking myself in the middle of a global pandemic. I’m concerned about the impacts of Covid-19 on mental health.
You see, I come from one of those families that is a strong case for the hereditary nature of many mental health challenges. To borrow a funny-sad phrase from a friend, mental illness doesn’t run through my family, it takes off its shoes and stays for a while.
My dad struggled with bipolar disorder for decades. But it’s not just him. I have had loved ones with generalized anxiety disorder, addictions, depression, OCD, borderline personality disorder and psychosis, to name a few.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), one in five Americans experience mental illness in a given year. The odds say that someone close to you deals with mental health challenges every day. You are not alone. Not by a long shot.
Because I’m passionate about shining a light of compassion on those with mental illness, I will keep writing about the topic. I’ve written about how to help a loved one with mental illness. And here, what not to say to someone with a mental illness (and what to say instead). This post shares hope for those struggling with mental illness and their loved ones.
I’m compelled to write again because May is Mental Health Awareness Month. And this year, it comes in the midst of a global pandemic.
Calls to suicide hotlines are up anywhere from 400 to 1000 percent compared to last year, based on the source. About 60 percent of Americans report feeling anxious about the coronavirus. And 45 percent say they are experiencing moderate to severe anxiety and/or depression.
How do we handle an ongoing crisis? I’ve heard several people describe this situation as we are all going through the same storm, but we’re not all in the same boat. Some people may be taking the giant waves in a sturdy, well-appointed yacht while others might be in a rickety rowboat, bailing like crazy because of cracks in the hull.
If you or someone you love deals with chronic mental illness, you may find your boat is leaking. Even if we don’t usually deal with depression or anxiety in ourselves or family, we might find ourselves dealing with it now.
How do we handle an ongoing crisis like Covid-19 in a way that leads to resilience instead of wreckage?
Becoming stronger in crisis
If you or your loved one is dealing with severe symptoms of mental illness, please reach out to a medical professional.
Many of us are dealing with crisis effects that are difficult but not severe. I spent some time researching how to cope with difficulties so I could share helpful information. The good news is that the tips are good for way more than the rare (we hope) global pandemic. I found a lot of great resources that apply to life whenever stresses threaten to overwhelm us.
The first source was an interview Kay Warren did with Dr. Bruce Perry, a Houston psychiatrist who specializes in child trauma.
Just a quick side note about Kay Warren. She’s the wife of Pastor Rick Warren, who wrote “Purpose Driven Life” and leads Saddleback Church. Rick and Kay lost their son at age 27 to suicide seven years ago. Now Kay champions hope for mental health in the church.
Perry said that a key consequence of prolonged stress is exhaustion, and we should expect more fatigue during this season. We also should expect less ability to focus and more irritability from ourselves and others. I call this being kind to myself and others.
He also said large-scale traumatic events magnify the fault lines in our communities. Those who started this storm in a rickety row boat will need more assistance than those in a sea-worthy vessel.
Families dealing with poverty or physical or mental health challenges likely will experience more serious impacts of the crisis and require more help.
Perry recommended that people focus on having a daily structure, family meals, limited media, exercise, reaching out to friends and family, helping others and good sleep hygiene. Those practices lead to resilience.
If instead you drift aimlessly through your day, eating your feelings, fixating on news and social media, rarely interacting with others and sleeping poorly, you’ll probably find yourself more fragile.
A number of sources said to focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t control. You can control what you have for lunch today but not what other people do in response to the virus.
In a post on lifehacker.com, Psychologist and author Mary Alvord suggests that you “avoid catastrophizing.” If you find yourself stuck in worst case scenario thinking, imagine what you might say to a friend who struggled with the same worries.
I found many helpful tips in this blog post about coping with a crisis from It’s All You Boo (great blog title, BTW).
Feeling anxious or depressed? You can journal about your feelings, your gratitude or things that bring you joy.
Losing focus and energy? Change rooms and activities several times throughout the day. After working at your desk for an hour or two, go to the kitchen and wipe down the microwave. The changes will give your mind and body a lift.
Frustrated because you’re not “making the most” of quarantine? Stop comparing yourself with others. Comparison almost always makes us feel worse about ourselves in the end.
This article from “Prevention” reminds us that anxiety is normal and necessary at times, but when it starts interfering with daily life, we may need treatment like medication and therapy. Identifying triggers that make you more anxious (such as a lack of sleep or spending time with an inconsiderate person) could help you better understand and manage them.
You can look around and find a lot of examples of how others are handling this unusual time. Many of my friends and family are taking time to work on hobbies, crafts, puzzles and projects. I’m reading a classic novel to give my brain a different kind of challenge.
In his interview with Warren, Perry mentions that a connection to your beliefs and belonging to a faith community can provide “a tremendous buffer to stress.”
As for me, I find prayer and focusing on faith help me fight anxiety and depression. I choose to believe that God is with me and loves me. And that gives me hope.
What are you doing to support mental health in this challenging season?
For more information, here’s a whole list of resources from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.