Let’s talk about stress and anxiety.
If you’re like me, you might be rolling your eyes right now and thinking, “No, let’s not.”
That’s an okay approach from time to time, especially when you’re busy just doing ALL THE THINGS.
Stress and anxiety are a normal part of life. They help our bodies and minds prepare to do hard things, but runaway stress and anxiety can wreck our health. The sooner we’re able to recognize when the stress monkey is camping out in our minds and learn positive coping skills, the better we’re able to, well, cope with ALL THE THINGS.
Did you know that anxiety disorders are now the most common mental illness in our society? It used to be depression (still pretty high), but anxiety claimed the top spot a few years ago.
According to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA), anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults in the United States, or 18 percent of the adult population. Anxiety disorders also affect one out of four teenagers.
Nearly half of those diagnosed with an anxiety disorder also deal with depression. I wrote about proven ways to boost your mood and fight depression in this post. It makes sense to me that the two feed into each other. You’re anxious so you avoid stuff, avoiding stuff makes you depressed. Or you’re depressed and you avoid stuff, and avoiding stuff makes you anxious. Anxiety disorders can co-occur with other mental health challenges like ADD/ADHD, eating disorders, substance abuse and with physical challenges like chronic pain or irritable bowel syndrome.
Anxiety disorders can stem from genetics, brain chemistry, personality and life events and include generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, specific phobia disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I know and love people who are impacted by some of these anxiety disorders. Several of them need medication to better cope with daily life, and some benefit by seeing a counselor. If you feel stuck in an overwhelm of anxiety, please see a medical professional. Help is available.
Everyone is stressed out or anxious at times. What’s the difference between stress and anxiety? Stress is a response to a threat in a situation while anxiety is a reaction to the stress.
I used to think that I didn’t often get anxious. Probably because I take some sort of silly pride in the label “laid back.” I often respond to life in a laid back, easygoing manner. For all you Enneagram nerds out there, I’m a 9, which means I hate conflict and love peace. I get along with almost everyone, and I usually respond with optimism. If you’re in a bad mood, I WILL want to get away from you! That’s not always the best response.
Although I avoid labeling myself as an anxious person like I avoid poison ivy at our ranch, there’s this undercurrent of restlessness far below the surface. As a little kid, I used to get in trouble because I was “busy.” I had a lot of energy and used to go adventuring without permission.
Now I keep that restlessness in check through exercise and spending time studying the Bible and praying. Going for a jog with my dog or writing in my prayer journal help me approach my day with more calm and greater focus.
That restlessness (maybe some undiagnosed ADD in there) is made worse by worry. Anxiety is defined as distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune. Forget trying to focus when your thoughts are tangled up in knots of worry.
When someone I love dearly was fighting a serious uptick in a chronic illness, I found myself stuck in an anxiety spiral. The worry worked its way into my body, with digestive and dental issues I’d never before experienced. Anxiety haunted my nights, waking me up at 2 in the morning to play “The Worst Case Scenario Game.” Lack of sleep compounded by ongoing stress strained my nerves and my ability to cope with ALL THE THINGS.
I remember breaking down in sobs while waiting in the exam room at an appointment with the dental surgeon who was going to take a biopsy of my mysteriously blistering gums. Fortunately, the wait was long enough for me to dry my eyes, take some cleansing breaths and shoot a plea heavenward. The biopsy turned out fine.
But it was a long season in a constant battle with anxious thoughts compounded by wearying days of caregiving. The way I got through it was by practicing the things I try to do all the time. Praying and connecting with God is always at the top of my list because I believe that He gives me strength when I am weak. I also had a few supportive friends who would listen and show me love when I needed to vent or cry. And then I prioritized exercise and sleep to work off some of the stress in my body and rest.
Those are just some of my top ten tips for coping with stress and anxiety. Here’s the whole enchilada.
Ten tips for coping with stress and anxiety
- Get moving: exercise reduces cortisol and adrenaline (the chemicals in our body that increase when we feel stress). It also helps boost our mood.
- Limit caffeine: Caffeine gives us a boost of energy, but when we drink too much Joe, our brains will say “whoa.” Instead of getting stuff done, we’ll feel jittery.
- Unplug from media: For peace of mind’s sake, don’t start scrolling social media or news the moment you wake up. Wait until later in the day to check your feeds, AFTER you do things that are positive and productive. If you tend to go down unproductive rabbit holes, set your phone’s timer for five minutes. When it goes off, move on to your actual real life.
- Read uplifting words: I like to read the Bible every morning. Right now, I’m working on reading through the Bible in a year with the Bible Recap. It’s a podcast and a book that help you understand the context of each passage and connect with God in a joyful way.
- Set small daily goals: Take a small step on a task that’s causing you worry. Five minutes matters. If you will commit to working on that daunting task for just five minutes, you’ll start to tame the overwhelm. Maybe you’ll end up working longer, but even when you don’t, you’ll have an idea of what to do next. Write that small step on your “to do list” so you can check it off. Prioritize your tasks. Choose one or two things to do and let go of the rest for now. Checking tasks off a list gives us a shot of dopamine. It feels good, y’all! I will even write things down I’ve already done just to get that little kick of accomplishment.
- Connect with friends: Spend time with supportive people. I’m emphasizing SUPPORTIVE people because we all know people who tend to tear others down and will add to our stress. We’re social creatures. I consider myself more of an introvert than an extrovert, but I still enjoy time with friends and loved ones.
- Journal: Write down how you’re feeling and why. Sometimes the problems look more manageable when you name them. Record one thing to be grateful for today. Gratitude reminds me that there is good around me, if I will look for it. Use your journal to brain dump and capture all those “to dos” running through your head. I like to keep a prayer journal where I write out my prayers to help my ADD brain focus.
- Prioritize sleep: Find a good wind down routine before bed. Just as you did at the start of your day, avoid social media and the news late in the day. Once you’re in bed, read something that’s enjoyable but not too riveting. I tend to read classic novels and cozy mysteries (Agatha Christie and Jane Austen are two of my faves) to help me relax before nodding off. Plan for a minimum of seven hours of sleep. Eight is even better. Because I almost always wake up by 6 or 6:30, even on weekends, I make sure I’m in bed before 11. After 3 p.m., I never have coffee unless it’s decaf, and I usually avoid caffeine teas and sodas in the evening. If I’ve had a few nights when I didn’t sleep well, I’ll take a little melatonin before bed.
- Spend time in nature: A mountain of research is calling you to get out in the mountains, valleys, prairies, beaches, parks and neighborhoods as a way to reduce stress and anxiety. Researchers at Harvard found that spending 20 minutes outside resulted in a significant drop in stress hormones. There’s even research showing that watching a nature documentary can help. Exercising outside gives you a double benefit. I like to jog or walk with my dog, which ups the nature content by hanging out with a furry friend.
- Pray: I believe that prayer changes things. Sometimes a whole situation changes in a totally unexpected way after I pray. More often, prayer changes me. When I spend time talking with God, both sharing my concerns AND seeking what He wants me to know, I find relief from anxious thoughts. I also receive strength to keep going and to keep loving.
How about you? Do you have any ways you fight stress? Which strategies work best for you?
Because my dad struggled with bipolar disorder, I’m passionate about helping those with mental health challenges and their loved ones. Here are some related posts from my blog on mental health:
How to support mental health in yourself and others in a crisis
Things to remember if someone you love has a serious mental illness
What NOT to say to someone with a serious mental illness
I’d love to hear from you, and if you found this post helpful, please share it with others.
Blessings to you and yours!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7
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